I flew over to America to stay with you for a couple of days. I was there for 3 days now. I was lying on the bed in the hotel room and staring at the ceiling. I looked at my watch. Almost 11 PM. Then I heard someone opening the door and shutting it as loud as possible. ‘’Louis?’’ I asked. You walked over to me. I looked into your eyes and I knew you’ve never been so angry.
‘’Louis what’s wrong?’’ I asked scared and confused. I’ve never seen him like this. I got up and stood in front of him. He came even closer until our noses were almost touching. ‘’You have an hour to pack your bags, Tia. If you’re not gone by then, I’m going to call the police’’.
I couldn’t believe he just said that. After a couple of seconds of looking in each other’s eyes in complete silence I could only bring out the word ‘’Why?’’
He grabbed his phone. ‘’Louis wha-‘’ ‘’Shut it!’’ He snapped. There we stood. I was too scared to say anything.
Then he suddenly held his phone in front of me. I saw me making out with another guy. I stared at it for a minute in total silence, because I just didn’t know what to say. Out of nowhere Louis pulled his phone away from my eyes and threw it towards a mirror that was hanging on the wall. It broke into pieces. I screamed. He looked back at me with tears in his eyes. ‘’Thanks for nothing, Tia. Thanks a lot.’’ He said to me and walked towards the door. He waited for about 3 seconds. Probably waiting for me to say something back. I wanted to say something, but I just couldn’t. I heard the door shut. I was alone. I walked over to the broken mirror and looked at my reflection. I was so empty that I couldn’t even cry. Louis thinks I’m cheating on him. But the guy he showed me in the picture, was someone I’ve never met.
My girlfriend is in the crowd. My girlfriend is in the crowd and I’m the only one who knows about it. We had to keep it a secret, so she could handle it. She had always known she can’t handle hate. Our fandom is full of jealous people. We just want to stay together forever. I know she’s the one. But it’s not easy. We can’t be a normal couple. Keeping a relationship a secret is one of the hardest things to do.
I tried to find her in the crowd for the past hour, but she was nowhere to be found. The boys noticed me being distracted, but they don’t know about it either. No one except for us two. We were all standing on the stage without singing, because we had to answer some twitter questions. Just when wanted to say something it happened.
People say we shouldn’t be together. Too young to know about forever.
The crowd was singing our song. There was a reason that we never sand They Don’t Know About Us live. I couldn’t handle it. I told the boys that the song was too hard for us and they just agreed, but they don’t know the real reason.
They don’t know I’ve waited all my life, just to find a love that feels this right.
I looked at the crowd. Tears starting to form in my eyes. I saw you. I looked right into your eyes. You weren’t singing along. I saw the tears in your eyes. It broke my heart. I dropped the microphone that was in my hands and I ran away. Away from everything. I ran into my changing room and just looked out of the window. They know nothing.
This wasn’t my dream.
It’s not like anyone actually cared about me. No one. I have a lot of fans, but none of them know me personally. I don’t think anyone can actually love me for who I am.
There I was. Alone. Sitting on a chair at the dining table. I haven’t eaten for the entire day. I haven’t had company in days. Now that the tour is over I can’t get distracted by anyone, because after all, I’m alone.
I’m only 19 and I’m already alone. I laughed at myself. It’s not like I want to hate myself, but how can I not if no one cares about me? There must be something wrong with me.
Tears were forming in my eyes, but I didn’t allow them to fall down my cheek. I wasn’t worth crying, only because I felt sorry for myself. It started getting darker in the living room, but I didn’t turn on the lights. I just sat there.
Finally I got up to get some drink with a lot of alcohol in it. I poured the liquid in a big glass and looked at it. ‘’No one cares anyway, right Harry?’’ I asked myself without looking away from the glass. I lifted the glass and whispered ‘’right’’. When the glass reached my mouth I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. ‘’I care’’, I heard a higher but manly voice. I turned around and looked in his eyes. ‘’Louis’’.
‘’Say hello to your new classmate, Harry Styles. He travelled all the way from London to this place. Be nice to him’’, the teacher said. There he stood. He was tall, he had curly hair and he was wearing a black shirt so his abs were shown. He didn’t smile. He didn’t do anything. He just stood there with a focused look.
‘’You can go sit next to Sabrina’’, the teacher said. He walked towards me and sat next to me, without paying any attention to me. He was mysterious. He sighed and got out his books, placing them on his desk. I just looked at him. I was kind of confused because he didn’t pay any attention to me. ‘’Hi Harry, I’m Sabrina.’’, I tried. He nodded and stayed facing the front. I was getting kind of annoyed. I couldn’t stand it when someone ignored me. ‘’Why are you here?’’, I tried again.
He didn’t say anything. He didn’t even nod. He just completely ignored me. ‘’Do you even talk?’’, I said really annoyed. He turned to face me. ‘’What?’’ He asked with a frown. ‘’Oh so you talk?’’ I asked. He turned away again. ‘’Fine.’’ I said to.. Well, to myself. After a half hour he mumbled ‘’I don’t want to be here’’. ‘’Good, cause you’re not going to make friends.’’ I snapped. The bell rang and I grabbed my books, swung my bag over my shoulder and walked out of the classroom.
After a long day, the final bell rang. Or.. For the rest of the school. I got detention. I wasn’t that kind of type who actually liked to study. I just wanted to make the best of it at school. I sat on my chair and waited for the other students who also got detention. I waited, but no one came. I looked at the door and suddenly I saw him standing there again. Harry. ‘’Oh great.’’ I said with no emotion in my voice. ‘’Sabrina, be nice to him. It’s his first day’’, the teacher behind the desk said. I ignored him. He walked inside and sat down on the chair next to me, looking down. The teacher left, like he always did, so now it was only me and Harry. ‘’Why are you here?’’, I asked him. He said nothing. ‘’I fucking asked you something. Why are you here?’’ I asked louder. I was so annoyed by him. He was so mysterious, maybe a little too much. ‘’Not talking in class’’ he muttered. ‘’What are you even trying to reach with this attitude?’’ I asked ‘’They already have enough of you, why are you doing this? Do you at least have one emotion?’’ I asked frustrated. He turned to face me. ‘’You don’t fucking know me. You don’t even know why I’m here.’’ He said raising his voice. ‘’Then why the fuck are you here?!’’ I almost screamed. ‘’Both of my parents died, I have to live here with my aunt. I don’t have a fucking choice, Sabrina.’’
My frown disappeared. I felt a tear forming in my eye. I was being a total bitch to him without knowing this story. ‘’I…’’ The tear rolled down my cheek. I couldn’t talk anymore. I grabbed my bag and walked, almost ran, out of the classroom.
I sat in my car. Just staring for a long time. ‘’Fuck!’’ I finally screamed. Why am I always so good in messing everything up? I started driving to my house.After a couple of minutes I arrived at my house. My parents weren’t home. They were actually never home and I had no siblings, so I was basically always alone. I finally realized that I ran away from detention. I’m so gonna get in trouble.
It was 10 PM and I packed out my bag. I saw one book too much. I looked at it. ‘Harry Styles’, it said. ‘’How?’’ I whispered in disbelieve.
I looked Harry up on Facebook and figured out where he lived. I got into my car an started driving to his house.
‘’This must be it’’, I said to myself. I got out of my car and walked to the house. I knocked on the door because I didn’t noticed the bell.
An older woman opened the door, who apparently was Harry’s aunt. ‘’Hello, I’m Sabrina. I accidentally took Harry’s chemistry book with me.’’ She smiled at me and sent me upstairs.
I opened a door, hoping it was Harry’s bedroom. It was. ‘’I got your chemistry bo-‘’ I said, my voice trailing off. My heart dropped. I saw him lying on his bed, crying. He looked at me and turned red. ‘’Leave.’’, he told me and looked away again. ‘’I’m not going anywhere, Harry.’’, I told him.
‘’You shouldn’t be alone right now.’’ I sat down next to him. He hid his face in his pillow. I sat there for a while. ‘’Do you really want to be alone?’’ I finally said. He said nothing. The silence spoke louder than words. I laid down next to him, to comfort him, even though he was a lot taller than me. He turned to face me. He was just a few inches away from me. Somehow it felt comfortable. I whipped away his tears with my fingers. I looked into his green eyes and he looked into my brown ones for a while. I didn’t notice that he was coming closer to me until I felt his lips on mine, softly. I wasn’t even shocked. Everything felt right. Like it wasn’t weird to lie in a bed with a guy I’ve known for one day. ‘’It’s going to be alright’’, I whispered into his lips. ‘’Just stay with me’’, he told me.